Foblies 2014 – Year One

Folbies is an NFL pick-em league amongst friends turned internet empire. The league is simple; pick winners of NFL games each week. Entry was $25, winners each week took home $5 and the top 3 at the end of the year took the rest of the pot. Technically Folbies was founded in 2013, however there were no write ups to go along with the weekly results. In 2014, the write ups started and got progressively better throughout the year. Each week the write up was sent via email to the group. For the first time ever, they are now on display for the world to see. Enjoy.

Reads in chronological order from bottom to top

End of Year

I want to thank everyone for playing, it was a fun year of picks and for 7 weeks I was able to correctly predict the Browns as winners. I hope you will all join me again next year as we pick another year of NFL games. I also ask that you all make sure I don’t kill myself next year as the browns win a maximum of 3 games next year – we get to play KC, SF, Sea, Den, SD, and our usual AFC north schedule.

Week 17

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, and Happy Kwanzah to DT,

Sad times are here. Only one more week of pick-em. Get your picks in and you could win 5 dollars.

Congrats to Compton Gangbang (Bobby McD) for finally getting a win. Bobby is in first place despite this being his only weekly win. Kid likes tobacco, Busch Light, and picking football games, if nothing else he is consistent. Congrats again to Bobby.

The Browns will win this week and knock Baltimore out of the playoffs I guarantee it. The only QB in the league worse than Manziel is that flaccid penis Joe Flacco. Guy is the definition of a wet noodle. There is a chance Conor Shaw (rookie out of South Carolina) starts for us this week he is still better than Flacco. Browns win by 100

Week 16

Congrats to Touchdown My Pants (Brian S) he is the first three-time winner and at this point I am sick of him.

A few weeks ago I said I was synonymous with the Browns and that has proven to be true. As they have crashed and burned so have I. We are both in free fall and I will probably come in dead last at this point. We need a miracle to save us at this point. I will be praying to Johnny Manziel tonight and hope that he and the coaching staff remember they play in this thing called the National Football League, where you try to score points and win games.

Best of luck to everyone down the home stretch. Should be a great finish.

Week 15

Congrats to another two time winner Beaver Bombs (Jared I) who went an impressive 14-2. Since Jared last won, he has somehow gambled his way out of debt and saved Christmas. Way to go Jared.

Now for the most important business of all. Close friend of mine Johnny Manziel will be starting for the browns this weekend. Obviously he hooked me up with some club seats so I will be going to the game. Perhaps most importantly is the fact that the decision to start Mr. Football saved me from potentially harming myself. After one of the most heartbreaking defeats I have ever watched against the colts and my personal worst week in pick-em I was ready to march my fat ass right into oncoming traffic.

Luckily Tuesday rolled around and Johnny got the nod. Though I severely hurt myself in the standings (as did the Browns). I am ready for a major comeback. The Browns and I are now synonymous. We NEED to win this week. Marvin Lewis and his ginger quarterback can suck one and frankly so can all of you, we are now out for blood, the playoffs, and first place in Folbies Pick-em. No sleep until we get all three.

Week 14

So by now we all know that Johnny is not starting tomorrow making this the worst Wednesday of the entire year. That said, get your picks in.

Congratulations to our second two-time winner and true scoundrel Jace T. Kid would run over his girlfriend’s mom with the car if it meant he got to watch Redzone (can’t say I wouldn’t) Jace had a solid weekend capped off with a few late Sunday wins to push ahead and win five more dollars. He is now owed $10 on the year. Congrats Jace.

As for the Browns what can I say, I think our magical season is running out of magic. We are the Cleveland Browns. We can’t have nice things… or we just ran into the buzzsaw that is Kyle Orton, idk you tell me.

That said we are always an optimistic bunch. There is an outside chance we come together and take down the Colts. If I have to drug Andrew Luck Saturday night then so be it. It’s Cleveland, anything can happen

Week 13

Better late than never. Shout out to Jace for being drunk and texting me that he forgot to make his picks tomorrow. So that said THERE ARE 3 GAMES TOMORROW Make sure you pick them before you stuff your face/dominate your family turkey bowl/shit your pants on your couch.

Congrats to Touchdown My Pants (Brian S.) he is our first two-time winner. Not gonna give him too much credit here. Pretty easy week & he won by a tiebreaker. Either way the kid now owns $10 of our dollars, congrats Brian.

For years I have watched other teams come into Cleveland and waltz down the field with a minute left only to kick a game winner as time expires. Well for the first time in my entire life we did the exact same thing to someone else. Damn it felt good. As I said last week the Falcons are a bunch of squares so yes I am a little concerned we had to resort to a last second FG to win. Hoyer played very pedestrian and Johnny killed someone in a hotel the night before the game. None of it matters, Browns win. We’re on to Buffalo.

Which brings me to Buffalo. Fuck Buffalo. We have your 2015 draft pick, I hope you lose every game for the rest of the year. That’s all I have to say about that.

Week 12

What a day we had on Sunday. Tons of close games and hard matchups; the winning score this week (10) was the lowest it had been all season and for most of us, Sunday was a bloodbath.

That said, everyone show some love to BeaverBombs (Jared I) who was our weekly winner. He was able to outsmart all of us in this tough week and earned himself a desperately needed $5 dollars. I believe his gambling debts on the season have him somewhere in the -50k range (just a guess) so if anyone wants to set up a gofundme account for the guy or just say some prayers, I’m sure he will accept both. Congrats BeaverBombs, put the $5 to good use.

Back to reality for me. I was hopeful the Browns would keep rolling but kind of knew we would lose to Houston. We have definitely benefitted from an easier schedule and simply can’t hang when we face an elite cokehead/QB such as Ryan Mallet. Only in Cleveland does a career drug addict/backup make his first start and win by 16 points.

However, “WE’RE ON TO ATLANTA! – Mike Pettine” – Bill Belichick” Can’t do anything but look forward to the Falcons who suck more penis than Michael Sam’s boyfriend. Even though our defense is banged up, I’m calling for turnovers everywhere and Matt Ryan’s head. If you watched hard knocks you know the falcons are a bunch of squares. Mike Tice is their O-Line coach so all the Chicago people know Matt Ryan will be wearing brown and orange on Sunday. If we can stop Julio Jones from doing Julio Jones things the Browns will win easy and winning easy for the browns is 20-13. Go browns.

Oh and did I mention Josh Gordon is back? Better make that 23-13.

Week 11

It is Wednesday, and to quote Swaggy D (Jack D) “It is not Tuesday.” That means we are happy, because football is almost here (technically it never left because MACtion is back which means the best part of MNF is Tuesday night football and Wednesday night football and so on and so forth – God bless this country). Regardless, get your picks in.

Big shout out to me for winning this week, but really this is a large thank you to all of you. Last week I told you to all pick the Bengals so I could get a head start on everyone. Well, you all listened! Myself, my cousin Jimmy JamBoogie, and my dad (all Clevelanders) were the only ones to pick the browns and jumped out to an early lead. After that I never looked back and posted the highest margin of victory to date – 2 games, get at me.

In other news, hide your dogs/girlfriends because VICK IS BACK and obviously no woman is safe with an angry Big Ben on the prowl. Nothing makes me happier than watching the Steelers lose especially to the Jets when they are lead by 2004 Mike Vick. Also be sure to follow Marcus Vick (@MVFive) on twitter as he is an absolute clown/moron.

Browns have a home showdown with the underrated Texans which scares me to death. Clowney and Watt surely mean an imminent death for Brian Hoyer… Silver lining, we could see Johnny for the first time which all but seals the Super Bowl for the Brownies. Praying Clowney doesn’t play and that the Brownies don’t let down after their big win (they surely will), predicting a 24-20 victory for the dawg pound.

Week 10

Congrats to BBC (D.T.) for edging out the competition and taking home the $5 weekly prize. DT also threw a party this weekend and I was told that bitches came over. All in all, a good weekend for him.

Browns turned Billy Cundiff into a fantasy MONSTER this week kicking field goal after field goal against that stingy Lovie Smith defense. In the end, Hoyer “the broken knee destroyer” was simply too much for them to handle and Mike Pettine’s hammer crushed Lovie and his ginger QB’s hopes of winning in Cleveland.

As I mentioned earlier Browns v Bungholes tomorrow. Gonna be a wild one in Cincy. The Bengals almost fell victim to the aerial show that is Blake Bortles last week so who knows what happens tomorrow. My prediction is the Browns give up 800 rushing yards and two long play action TDs to AJ Green. But block all the field goals and somehow win 19-14.

Week 9

Congrats to my co-worker Touchdown My Pants (Brian S) on winning the week. Brian, a former standout soccer player at College in Chicago, IL, is a dark horse to win the league. However, given his overall success in life, I think a hungrier and less handsome member will prevent Brian from victory in the end. Regardless, he has earned himself $5 way to go.

All bets were indeed off last weekend as my dad and I drank enough beer and ate enough red meat in the streets of Cleveland to stop ISIS. The Browns won, we met Jim Brown in the airport, and I lost millions at the horseshoe casino. Watch for the Browns to play another sloppy game but at the end of the day Mike Pettine is a badass and Lovie smith drives a Prius.

P.S. If anyone ever wants to go to Cleveland with me it is a GREAT time. The place is absolutely LAWLESS on weekends, every bar is shit show until Monday when all the creatures scurry back to their shanties and downtown Cleveland goes back to being a desolate wasteland.

Week 8

By the grace of god and what I am calling the “Steeler storm” – first time since 2002 that a team scored 24 points in 3 minutes – Jack D (Swaggy D) edged me out for the top spot. It ruined my Monday and Tuesday and I’m still salty about it. Congrats to jack on the good week. you will be getting 5 singular poo dollars.

Told you last week that “nothing would be more browns than losing to Jacksonville” say what you want about my football knowledge but don’t tell me I don’t know my browns. I’ll be in the dawg pound this week hanging with Johnny so all bets are off the browns will probably win by 1000.

Week 7

Congrats to T.J.  for somehow winning this week. He is our shortest winner to date and needs the $5 dollars the most.

Browns won again last week (fuck Pittsburgh) and I’m terrified of the Jaguars. Browns are finally good and nothing would be more Browns than losing to Jacksonville. If we beat Jacksonville we make the playoffs plain and simple.

Week 6

Browns won last week (of course) and will ABSOLUTELY win again this week. We will not get swept by the steelers this year so if you pick against the Browns you hate points and money.

Week 5

Congratulations to Jace T. who is our weekly winner and a real degenerate. You are awarded $5.

Browns travel to Tennessee this weekend where they have had two weeks to have Johnny learn the entire offense prepare. So if you don’t think Johnny scores and the Browns win I don’t know what planet you are on.

Week 4

Last week the Browns almost won and Manziel almost scored a TD so I was almost right again.

Best of luck in week 4, the Browns have a bye so no weekly prediction BUT, look forward to Josh Gordon returning in November right when the Browns make their playoff push.

Week 3

“Browns beat the Saints at home this week, mark my words.” – Me last week. You are all lucky my afternoon picks didn’t save or I may have clinched by now.

Good luck in week 3, I think the Browns win at home again vs the Ravens and I think Manziel somehow scores a touchdown.

Week 2

Good luck in week 2, Browns beat the Saints at home this week, mark my words.

Week 1: No write up for week 1