Pick reminder for tonight and Sunday games. Two virgins square off tonight – Aaron Rodgers and Russell Wilson – should be some good clean family fun!
I am excited to announce Randy as our week 9 winner. As a fellow former Butler O-Linemen, Randy holds a special place in my heart. He too knows the pain of being 800 pounds, sweaty, and being called a cunt everyday all in exchange for the glory of playing Dayton in front 12 people. Good news is all Butler hotties wanted us. But, I digress, as you can see from the picture in the email, Randy is still 800 pounds and sweaty, he doesn’t get berated on a daily basis anymore but the only pussy he sees is his pet cat. Congrats on the $10 Randy, I love you, I miss you, I know you’ll find a way to spend this money on weed. Bless.
Looking Back: RIP Dez Bryant, never wanted the guy anyway! Also…. THE BROWNS FUCKING WON! Sugma Balls Dan Quinn, that’s what you get for kicking a field goal against the 49ers down 4 points with 3 minutes left on 4th and 1 from the 1 ruining everyone’s moneyline parlays back in 2015… people don’t fucking forget you dipshit. Eat my ass, you just lost to the Browns.
Moving Forward: It’s everyone’s favorite time of year. No it isn’t bowl season, no it isn’t March Madness, no it isn’t Yom Kippur, it is the Browns bye week. This time each year we get to guess how the Browns will find a way to lose without actually playing a game. Will Johnny Manziel get into legal trouble? Will Josh Gordon get suspended? Will RG3 parade around New York looking like a fucking jackass? Somehow, some way we will lose the bye week, stay tuned to find out how.
Good luck in week 11 gents!
– Dick Picks