Bills play at the Jets this Thursday and I’d like to extend a sincere fuck you to whoever is in charge of scheduling at the NFL. Instead of the Bills Mafia getting to strut their shit in prime time, the game is in the meadowlands. Whoever made that decision hates fun and deserves a punch in the dick/vag or whatever it is they swing down there (it’s 2017). Get your picks in for that and the other games.
Week 8 we have our first two-time winner Redacted (Short meat shorty). Short meat (Dan) won the first week of the season and he sits in 7th place with a total of 69 wins on the season – nice. Dan’s score may be nice, but Dan wasn’t always so nice. Back in highschool we were exchanging fuck tales one day (that’s a story about sex for all you simpletons) and I still chuckle thinking about it. The man had a nice little off-season routine set up. Hit the weights after school, crush some McDonalds (#gainz) and then pick up his girlfriend and let her “suck the salty d.” You might be wondering what “the salty d is.” Well notice I didn’t say anything about a shower in Dan’s off-season routine. That’s right folks. He’d let his GF fellate him and his sweaty, salty d while he smelled McNuggets and Rocky in round 7. Here’s $10 buy some soap or send that woman some flowers you heathen.
Looking Back: You sound like you’re from London! Browns lose in London because no matter what country we play in we will suck… speaking of different countries…
Moving Forward: Given what just happened at the trade deadline, I am calling for all football activities to be cancelled in Cleveland. The team will relocate to Mexico City. The Mexico City Browns will be the greatest fucking franchise in the history of Mexico City NFL Franchises. Make it happen Goodell you soulless fuck.
Good luck and thanks for playing!
– Dick Picks