Browns Football

Brady Gets 5, McCown Gets Fired, RG3 Gets Emotional

Tom Brady is the GOAT. I think anyone who says differently may need their head checked. Brady made every throw when they needed it and continues to play at a ridiculous level that is just simply incredible to watch. Enough about Brady for now. Let us first discuss a few people who actually need their head checked. The list is as follows: Kyle Shanahan, Josh McCown, RGIII, & Sashi Brown.


Shanahan first. Dude, you just blew the Super Bowl by being an asshole. Some of you may remember Kyle Shanahan once called plays for the Browns. I never liked him, he never liked Cleveland, he was always trying to do too much and audition for his next job. When Manziel got his first starting nod against Cincinnati a few years back Shanahan put a rookie QB in his first series of his first start into a formation with an empty backfield on 3rd and 1. Fucking do less man. Quit being boner and just run the ball (Browns did not convert btw, surprise surprise).

Well fast forward a few years and Kyle Shanahan looks like a genius because he has every weapon in the world and literally can’t go wrong calling any play he wants. Whatever, congrats to him I guess. Falcons get out to a big lead early but let’s not forget the pick 6 which came at the end of an 15 play drive followed immediately by an 11 play patriot drive. Your defense is winning because they are playing fast. You can only play fast if you are fresh. So maybe, just maybe when you have a lead in THE SUPER BOWL, you bleed the play clock a little bit more instead of snapping the ball with 20 seconds to spare.

I get you wanna play to win and you never wanna play to “not lose” but I think I draw my line for that at “leading in the fourth quarter of the god damn Super Bowl and all you need to do is shut the fucking game down.” I don’t know, what do I know about Super Bowls, we have zero. So Mr. Shanahan enjoy your time with the horrible San Francisco 49ers and just remember we will never forget the time you could’ve literally kneeled three times, kicked a field goal and won the Super Bowl.

Biggest crime of all was ruining Julio’s Catch…


Next on the list, Josh McCown. Seriously though like someone needs to actually check this man’s head. He is likely already a stage 3 CTE patient. I will pray for Josh McCown tonight. On a serious note, I do tip my hat to McCown, dude gave literally everything he had just to try and make the Browns a winner. Put up with a ton of bullshit and still just gave it his all every day. Josh, you and your toughness will be missed.

Instead… we get to watch Rg3, who also needs a head check. Not for concussions though, this check is to see if Rg3 is an NFL QB or actually my 15 year old sister.


Jury is still out, if anyone has any evidence the man with the sunglasses from that phot0 above is an NFL quarterback, please send it my way.

Last but not least, Sashi Brown step right up. C’mon man. RG3 fucking blows. You know it, I know it. What are the young QB’s on our roster going to learn from him? How to braid your best friends hair? McCown isn’t the answer but the dude walked out every day and let his balls hang. At least he was something we could be proud of. All Rg3 is gonna teach DeShaun is that true love is all that matters. This is a football team, not a disney channel original movie.

Late addition to the list should be me. I don’t know why I let myself get angry at the moves the front office makes any more. The definition of insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result. In this case I need to stop being a Browns fan over and over again.

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