Gentlemen, a happy new year to all. I hope you all drink too much and find yourself face down in a pizza when you wake up on January 1. Also, I’m having a party, so if you know any single women, bring them.
Haber29 won week 16, for that, we will turn the clock back to week 2 for his last victory, and let’s see what we said…
“In week 2, we should all pause for a moment of deep reflection as somehow we allowed Haber29 to win this week. This is a sad day for us all and we should all feel a deep sentiment of inadequacy. Haber is a known sinner who enjoys Bravo on the weeknights and prefers women’s soccer to NFL Redzone. For the new guys in the group, this is not in jest, Haber is a true lassie. Let us all step up our game and insure this does not happen again. Haber, do you want 5 american dollars or would you prefer a gift card to the local fro-yo place?”
Well Gents, I think we all owe ourselves a get out of jail free card here. Most of us were focused on Christmas. Not Haber, he is the only Jew I know who is also Mexican. Clearly had plenty of time to focus on the NFL while the rest of us celebrated the GOAT holiday.
Looking Back: “FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY WE ARE FREE AT LAST!” –
MLK JR. All of Cleveland
The Browns tried to lose on Saturday, but this time, it was the other team having field goals blocked and missed when it became crunch time. A Christmas miracle in Cleveland. That said, RG3 sucks and I really don’t care who it is (give me Jay Cutler) but I can’t watch RG3 in orange and Brown next year.
Moving Forward: Steelers will lose this week. Browns have all the mo, the Steelers are calling up the entire practice squad to play in this game – still more talent than the browns – I don’t see how we lose this game other than inevitably losing by 24.
A big fuck you to the NFL for ruining New Year’s day. Typically I travel home to watch awesome bowl games with my family eating nothing but fat and sugar all day. Instead I’m forced to watch basically a bunch of pre-season NFL games and feel guilty about sitting on the couch all day again Monday watching CFB instead of getting ready to go back to work.
Another solid fuck you to the NCAA. 2pm and 6pm central kickoffs for the biggest games of the year on NYE? Throw us a fucking bone guys. 2pm is fine I guess/I don’t care about that game at all (bama -50) but Clemson vs OSU at 6pm? Do you want me to eat dinner at 4? 9:15? Yeah I bet every wife/girlfriend in America is totally cool with that…. no more NYE bullshit guys, c’mon.
That’s all for now, bless up guys, DON’T drink and drive, do EAOD.