Weekly pick reminder. Saints and Panthers tomorrow, in what actually could be a good game for a change. Polar opposites in Cam Newton and Drew Brees. Nobody whines more than Cam and nobody whines less than Drew. One a Super Bowl MVP (Drew) the other a Regular Season MVP (Cam). One is married with kids, the other a single father. This proves that anyone who works hard can travel the road of success, no body is ever chosen. Except for Cam’s kid, who is named Chosen. Yes, Cam Newton fathers a child that he named Chosen Newton.
Our winner for Week 9 was certainly not chosen, Pat’s Winners (Pat W, not Pat G who paid his money and hasn’t made a pick since.) went out there and earned it. No one has ever wanted a write up more than Pat. Well congrats bud, you are about to be exposed. For some background, Pat owns 4 Jimmy John’s franchises and gambles more than anyone I know simply because he “just loves action.” You may think owning JJ’s is glamorous, it’s not. Pat wakes up around 3am everyday to go to a JJ’s and starts chopping lettuce like a peasant. Hilarious visual. Anways…
Many moons ago, when I was still alive and attending Butler University, there lived a troll. A troll that was kind at heart, but still a troll. The type of troll who you can live next door to for an entire year and have no idea she was your neighbor until after the fact (true story). I had not seen this creature in several years but this August she emerged out of the deep at our friend Jace’s (Jace 401k) wedding. I said hello then enjoyed the rest of the evening sitting next Pat who happened to be the best man. Pat gave a wonderful speech about gambling and Jimmy Johns sandwiches and really had the crowd going. All eyes were on the bride and groom obviously, but little did we know, one set of eyes happened to be on Pat. After dinner we all basically went into a black hole and the next thing I know its 4am, I am stumbling out of the bar to get a cab and who do I see getting in a cab with this creature from the deep? None other that Pat himself, slinging his little Jimmy John night and day. Naturally I hopped in for the ride and giggled all the way back to the hotel.
My hat goes off to your effort Pat, while your standards for your sandwiches are high, your standards for women are low. Keep slinging those JJ’s slims and keep slinging those sandwiches too. $5 is yours, which is fitting because she was a 5, at best.
Looking Back: The Browns tried to save America with a win on Thursday night. Instead, all we got was the black gay ref and a 28-7 loss. 0-16 here we come!
Moving Forward: Browns vs Steelers this week. I expect a colassol ass beating, but wouldn’t be surprised if we won. We are at home and while the chances of catching the Steelers asleep at the wheel are slim following thier loss, maybe, just maybe, they decide not to show up. Or maybe they score every drive and we lose by a thousand. Only time will tell.
Best of luck out there boys!
– Dick Picks