Just when you thought I was dead, just when I thought I was dead, the NFL comes in andsaves my life. The 0-9 Browns vs the 4-4 Ravens, COLOR RUSH, Thursday night football. Revival. Obviously, the Browns won’t be participating in the Color Rush (only winners get Color Rush) and instead will just be wearing our normal white uniforms. Ravens will probably kick our ass, but if there was ever a game the Browns could win, this is the one!
Week 9 brought us our first repeat winner, Shane Falco (James), I now owe him $5 more dollars. James is a Clevelander and like me, he has died after the Indians loss. However, he is risen through the holy revival that is Folbies International. James is down but not out, normally I rip the winners, and the repeat winners even harder, but who am I to kick a man while he is down? I won’t do it. I thought about reaching out to James to see if he had lost any weight or maybe grew some more hair in the time that passed between his wins, but like I said, I won’t kick a man while he is down, I just won’t do it. Congrats on the win James, we are back!
Looking Back: The highest of highs and the lowest of lows. I watched in disbelief as a line drive off Rajai Davis’ bat exited the stadium and tied the World Series in the bottom of the 8th inning. All of Chicago collectively peeing their pants. Turns out God is a Cubs fan, because he too peed his pants literally all over Cleveland with a rain delay and an extra innings Cubs victory. The Cubs are clearly the best team in baseball so perhaps there was no avoiding a Cubs win, but hat tip to us for forcing extra innings of game 7 of the World Series without a pitching staff or our best position player. Tito is the GOAT.
That said we must concede to Chicago, I give them my congratulations, they are clearly the best team and baseball and Chicago had waited longer than anyone (we now take that crown). I want to give a special shoutout to every frat kid that graduated college, moved to Chicago, and adopted the Cubbies as your squad, no one deserves this more than you. I want to show love to every Chicago girl who never followed baseball but went to a Cubs game when they were 7 and posted a picture of it last week when the Cubs won. And lastly the biggest shout out to those same girls who posted a picture with their #FlyTheW flag after the win. You guys are the real winners. Baseball is about likes and trendy hashtags, 2016 Chicago Cubs
World Series Hashtag Champions #GoCubsGo #FlyTheW.
Oh and as for football, the Browns lost by 25 at home…
Moving Forward: Browns color rush. Can you find a more electrifying three-word combo in the English language? I cannot. Buckle up friends, anything can happen on Thursday night – except the Browns winning a game.
Best of luck out there boys!
– Dick Picks