Indians: Brian Shaw still sucks. Ok, now that we have that out of the way. WHAT. A.
HOME RUN DERBY GAME!
Minor panic attack in the first inning when it looked like Bauer might implode, but Bauer is a crazy person and battled like one. I would have loved to have seen him pitch a few more innings because now it is almost a complete certainty that I will have to watch Zach McAllister pitch in game 2 (please God, let Corey Kluber throw a complete game) but he did what he needed to keep us in the game and give us a chance to win.
Now to address the key play of the game and the key player of the game. It’s me, ya daddy, Roberto… Perez that is. Robo won that game for us last night. Obviously his bomb got momentum going back in our direction, but it was when he tagged at first on a fly ball and sauntered over to 2nd that was the play of the game. No one tags at first base, ever, let alone a 250 pound catcher. Moving his fatass over to 2nd allowed him to score on Kipnis’ single and ended up being the difference in a one run ball game. God bless you Roberto, you hit less than your weight in the regular season and it absolutely does not matter if you keep this up.
Game two is tonight. Price is like 8-2 against us with a 2 something ERA, but none of it matters because we got Kluber, we got Tarzan Boy, and we have Robby Perez. Roll Damn Tribe!
Browns: Remember earlier in the week when I said the NFL is rigged? Well, this game seems to only confirm my theory. What is the best scenario for Brady’s return for Goodell? Is it murdering the Colts on a Sunday night prime time game? No, it isn’t. That makes Goodell look like an ass face. So instead of being suspended in 2015 and returning against the Colts in primetime, he pushes the suspension for a year and Brady gets to return in Cleveland, in a game no one cares about, at 1pm. No one is happy about this, the Browns know we are fucked, the Pats fans don’t give a shit about the Browns, it will all come down to how close we can keep it. I think we cancel the game and if Brady wants to get some work in, let him pitch the 7th and 8th for us on Sunday because lord knows our bullpen needs a breather.
Headlines of the Week:
Ten Things Matthew Berry Hates About Fantasy Football – Matthew Berry, ESPN.com… An article written by Matthew Berry, about Matthew Berry, with Matthew Berry in the title.
Synthetic Marijuana Added To NFL’s Banned Substance List – ESPN.com… Dammit Josh, all you had to do this entire time was fake weed? Well fuck, I feel stupid now. Seriously though, how is this JUST being added to the banned substance list? Real weed, a plant, banned. But fake weed, a bunch of chemicals that are probably horrible for your body, legal until now. Fuck off NFL. Give me back my wide receiver you assholes!
Coughlin Offers To Help OBJ; NFL Eyes Provocation – ESPN.com… Coughlin offers to help, that’s fine, whatever. NFL eyes provocation? What? The NFL is going to start looking out for Odell Beckham’s feelings? Am I smoking synthetic marijuana right now? What the fuck is going on? The NFL is going to start having their refs watch out for the opponents being mean to Odell during a game.. played by grown men… who get paid MILLIONS of dollars…. Fucking fuck Goodell you are one sorry sack of shit.
The only logical explanation to this is that Odell is gay and basically every team is just calling him gay and he flips out. If that is the case, I can understand why the NFL would want to put a damper on that. But even so, Gay, straight, white, black, whatever, no one is safe from shit talking in sports let alone the NFL. Odell, if you can’t stand the heat, get out the kitchen.
By The Numbers: The Indians went 2-0 this beating the Royals in the regular season finale and the Red Sox last night. The Browns sit at 0-5, or at least they will after the game Sunday. According to the broken scale I just stepped on, I lost 15 pounds this week. I’ll take it.
Thanks again for another great week folks, keep reading and share with your friends! GO TRIBE!