Playoff baseball returns to Cleveland tonight as the Tribe clinched the Central Division for the first time since 2007. The last Indians title came in 1948 since then it has been nine trips to the playoffs since then including three trips to the World Series in ’54, ’95 and ’97. Despite dominance in the 90’s that saw six central titles in seven years, the Indians never captured that elusive World Series Championship.
This year has the chance to be different. At first, we all thought we would win with our American League best pitching staff that featured a wicked hit list of Kulber, Salazar, and Carrasco. There is no one in the American league with a better 1-4 if you add in Bauer, what a series it would be with the Cubs if you had these match-ups:
Kluber vs Arrieta
Salazar vs Lester
Carrasco vs Lackey
Bauer vs Hendricks
Tomlin vs Hammel (that’s if they didn’t use a 4-man rotation)
That series would be awesome. Sadly, we were robbed of this as Salazar and Carrasco both were sidelined in September with injuries (thanks a lot, God). Given those injuries, if the Indians want any hope they will need some young pitchers to step into some big shoes and the offense to carry the load. However, there are a few other things the team can do in order to gain an advantage this October…
Dollar Dog Night Every Night
The Indians hosted 11 dollar dog nights this year, they were the most majestic nights of the summer. If we want to win in October, I need playoff meat. If you don’t think every fan ordering a minimum of five hot tubes of mystery meat covered in Stadium Mustard provides a distinct home field advantage, you’re high. Think I am wrong? Think I’m just a fat kid who likes hot dogs? Well you’re only wrong about the first half! The Indians went 9-2 on dollar dog nights this year. 9-2 don’t lie people! Need the meat! If you want to beat, you need the meat!
Side note – if you’re a male over the age of 13, anything less than five dogs is an embarrassment to yourself, your city, and your father. Lastly, need the hot dog tracker just like they did in the regular season
Fireworks After Every Opposing Strike Out
Across America you will see fireworks in baseball stadiums are typically reserved for the National Anthem, home runs, a few may be shot off after a home win, and promo nights. All occasions planned for and expected, until now. Can you imagine how pissed off Pedroia or Big Papi would get if Kulber rings em up and the BOOM! Fireworks go off!? Talk about rattled.
Gonna need a lot of Tarzan boy. After a double play, after an Indians home run, when the hot dog tracker hits 25k, all occasions for Tarzan Boy to be played. When we get 45 thousand all yelling like maniacs in unison, the Red Sox will be so befuddled they won’t know what to do.
The Perfect Walk-Up Song
All opposing players get this…
Pedroia? Loves naked dudes. Big Papi? Big fan of naked dudes. Hanley Ramirez? Handy Ramirez. Mookie Betts? Nakey Butts!
Anyway, if we could maybe get a Naked Dudes! chant once every few innings, I think it would go a long way.
So there you have it, four very simple things the Indians can do to create the best atmosphere in baseball and win the World Series. It starts tonight L.F.G!!!!