Browns Football

UPDATE: RG3 Dies, Browns Provide Wentz A Solid Tune-Up As He Preps For First NFL Defense

Beyond the headline, I don’t know if much more needs to be said. Carson Wentz looked solid in a nice little scrimmage against a defense that doesn’t belong in the NFL. Took the opening drive and walked down the field on the way to the end zone. Kid probably thought he died and went back to North Dakota. Any pregame jitters, doubts, or fears, from Wentz, all gone on drive one. Hell, the on the first 3rd down of the game we jumped offsides, three plays into the season and we pick up right where we left off.

Now I’m not on the sidelines, but I’m guessing letting Wentz throw a TD on the first drive wasn’t in the game plan. Nor was giving up 400 yards of offense to a rookie QB from an FCS school. At no point did we look anywhere close to being competent. Wentz will struggle once he plays some actual competition so spare me all the “we should’ve drafted Wentz” bullshit.  But man, this is gonna be  long year. Maybe our offense will bail us out? Let’s take a look at what we saw there!

We had a wonderful snap through the back of the endzone for a safety. That was fun. Which reminds me, for those scoring at home. Not only did we give up the first touchdown of opening day, we gave up the first safety too. Classic us. We had a few bright moments, RG3 had a 20-yard scramble, there was this catch from Pryor..


There was our only touchdown of the game, a two yard dash from The Crow himself…


But for the most part, we saw this…


A box full of cat turds. That’s what we looked like today. The only thing that worked was having our receiver running in a straight line and chucking the ball as far as we could. And even then, that completion to Coleman was tossed into triple coverage, it was lucky to be underthrown and caught.

RG3 sprained his left shoulder in the debut. Making it that much easier for people to make fun of us. It doesn’t appear to be serious and RG3 said himself, “I’m in pain, but I’ll be okay.” Yeah dude, you and all the rest of us. Guess I’ll start looking forward to number 1 pick in the 2017 draft. See you guys in April!

UPDATE: RG3 is dead. What was the over/under on RG3’s survival rate? 6 games? Romo’s was 4 that under ticket cashed in the preseason. RG3 literally sat on the sideline in street clothes last year so you would think his body would be fresh. Fragile, but fresh. Well fresh doesn’t matter when you don’t know how to slide. Now I respect his intentions and I’ll never fault a dude for going hard and trying to get extra yards. BUT, but, if you’re a sprinter in a football uniform, you don’t get to do that. Big Ben, Cam Newton, Dangeruss Wilson those guys can take a lick. But if you ran track at any point in your life, I want you to slide.

The RG3 story that started out as an awesome revival now just looks very very sad. Move to Cleveland, grow out your afro, get divorced, all way less cool when shatter your shoulder game one.


2 thoughts on “UPDATE: RG3 Dies, Browns Provide Wentz A Solid Tune-Up As He Preps For First NFL Defense

  1. Pingback: Week In Review: Browns Week 2, Sox Stomp Tribe, And Headlines of the Week | Folbies International

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