Browns: Browns shit the bed vs the Bears last night. Hard to shit the bed in a preseason game, but when it’s week 4 and you play your starters and can’t score unless the other team muffs a punt, you’ve shit the bed.
On to far more important matters. The Bears offense has been basically abysmal the entire preseason. Not surprising at all. Jay Cutler cares about preseason about as much as anyone born in America cares about soccer. So while Cutty could care less about a few meaningless games in August, our boy Brian Hoyer cares. Hoyer cares a lot and frankly I care about Hoyer. Remember waking up on Sundays just a few short years ago and thinking “Football is fun, we are winning games, I kinda like Hoyer but I really wanna see Manziel get in, but damn Hoyer keeps winning so I love that guy, but really JFF is my BFF so put him, but nah it’s cool Brian do your thing, we’re winning games and your friends with Tom Brady, which kinda means I’m friends with Brady so anything can happen!” Hard to believe that was just two short years ago. God damnit I miss that. Me and every other Browns fan who had that exact same inner dialogue, miss that, and we miss Brian Hoyer.
Hoyer should low key maybe start for the Bears? He is the only QB who has moved their offense at all this
preseason year! Hoyer is a proven winner! The guy went 10-6 as a starter in Cleveland! Hoyer may be a career backup but when it is all said and done, fuck a Super Bowl, there is nothing more impressive than exiting the NFL as the only a QB with a winning record in Cleveland since 1999. Cue the greatest song ever written:
College football kicked off last night. If you took Charlotte +38.5, the over in the IU v FIU game and Minnesota -10 at halftime, while you drank a few Busch Lights and ate Portillos alone in your apartment while blogging about the Browns, you’re a pathetic loser. That’s all I have to say about that.
Headlines of the Week:
What is Every NFL Team’s Biggest Strength and Weakness? – ESPN.com… Greatest strength, for 31 teams, not being the Cleveland Browns. Biggest weakness, for 19 teams, not having the Browns on their schedule.
Brady Says He Hopes to Stay Sharp During 4 Game Suspension – Mike Reiss, ESPN.com… Kudos bar for Mike Reiss. Rolling up his sleeves and digging just a little deeper here. This type of informative piece doesn’t write itself. From all of us, keep fighting the good fight Mike… dumbass.
Bill Belichick on Barkevious Mingo: ‘I’ve Been Impressed With Him’ – Mike Reiss, ESPN.com… Seriously Mike, fuck off.
Most Intriguing College Football Coaches of 2016 – Pat Forde, Yahoo Sports…
P.S. Red Beaulieu is Les Miles and Les Miles is Red Beaulieu.
Rodney Harrison Sorry for Saying Kaepernick ‘Not Black’ – ESPN.com… Uh Rodney, did you think this was a jew fro?
On the other hand, I guess he does kinda look like an Arabic Lil Dicky. And in response…
Taye Diggs: “Rodney Harrison’s Speaking Like a Slave Owner” – TMZ… Thanks for the weighing in Taye, was waiting all week for your opinion.
By The Numbers: The Browns went 0-1, bringing them to 0-4 on the preseason, which begs the questions, can the Browns go 0-20 this year? The Tribe went 3-1. Somehow, I lost a pound and a half.