The Browns made their first rounds of roster cuts this week most notably releasing outside linebacker, Paul Kruger. The surprising release of the OLB was
about money and a is really an admission that the previous regime was exceptionally inept. Not that Kruger wasn’t talented when they signed him, but he was brought on to give the illusion that the team was trying. Classic case of signing a big name to keep fans interested even if you overpay. Well to his credit, that penny pincher Jonah Hill was smart enough to realize, Kruger is going to cost us a lot of money and we aren’t going to win a lot of games this year…so.. why spend… more.. money? OMG what an idea guys. Jonah realizes baseball rebuilds work because they are given proper time, and rebuilds fail when you kick out the coaches every year and start from scratch. Who knew right? Well to his credit, it is odd to cut one of your perceived better players especially when his back-up belongs in the Arena League, but I’d rather go 2-14 this year and make the playoffs in 2018 or 19 than be talking about or new DC turned head coach in 2018. a direct result of his penis looking haircut. We talked about this before, look like penis, play like penis. Every action has a consequence Paul, grow up and take some responsibility for your actions.
Above was Kruger’s tweet on his way out of town. Thankful to the city of Cleveland but also said he was misused. Uh, what did you expect bud? Slip on a Browns uniform and be embraced by an abundance of competence and purpose? In Cleveland, left is right, up is down, our new uniforms belong on garbage men, and a Super Bowl is when you dump four burrito bowls into giant serving bowl and eat it by yourself while you sweat on your couch. You knew that coming in so you can’t complain on your way out. Also, it should be noted that Kruger’s wife (see below) is a Kenston High School Grad. So several million dollars later you get to marry her and no longer have to play for the worst franchise in sports? Aside from that haircut, I think Kruger will be just fine.
Another notable cut is dickface, Austin Davis, aka, the guy who slid in bounds with 20 seconds left in a tie game. Better decisions are made by inmates everyday. Good riddance.
Last we checked on the Tribe, they had just been spanked 9-0 by the Rangers last Thursday. They proceeded to win 12-0, lose 7-0, then lose 1-2. Odd series for what could be a preview of the ALCS. Our boy Cookie was better than the 7-0 result he got. Hurt by a few errors, he still managed to strike out 8 Rangers in just 4 innings. Salazar read the last article we wrote about him and responded wonderfully striking out 10 in 5 & 1/3, only to take a tough luck 2-1 loss. Bounce here or there and the Tribe could’ve won that series 3-1.
While the Tribe have won two straight vs the Twins, I am a bit worried about or offense. With the exception of that 12 run outburst on Friday, from August 22nd to the 29th, this is what our bats have produced: 1 run, 1 run, 1 run, 0 runs, 0 runs, 1 run, 1 run. Viagra patients post better numbers than that in a week. It’s hard to make an NFL team looking like a penis and it’s hard to win baseball games when you only score 1 run. If you’re keeping score at home, I’ve officially pissed off my hockey coach, terrifying at first, but everything should be ok. Five runs last night was cool (thanks Rajai), so let’s keep it moving in the right direction.
Speaking of right direction, big news, we are making a move for Coco Crisp. Top-notch breakfast cereal and valuable veteran outfielder, could fit in great for an October run. Now personally, I’d rather sign the chosen one Tim Tebow. He hit 5 bombs in his MLB showcase and I think Cleveland could use another buff gay guy in town to compliment LeBron. Buy low, sell high right? He certainly wouldn’t be the first QB to fail here and he’s big enough to replace Kruger at OLB once baseball season is over. Not saying I just solved another one of the Browns problems, but that’s actually exactly what just happened. Can you imagine a LB corps of Puig, Kirksey, and Tebow. What a time to be alive.