Indians: Well, the Indians started the week off with an awesome win Sunday and a STELLAR performance from Carrasco on Monday to win 1-0 over Oakland. Tuesday things went south. Salazar got blown up in the first and the Indians lost 9-1. Wednesday Oakland dropped a 5 spot in the 2nd and we lost 5-1. Thursday Texas sent a message that the road to the World Series will most likely go through Arlington and straight beat that ass 9-0. The Tribe’s offense has produced three runs since Monday. The rest of this big series continues in Texas this weekend, need to get a few wins and send Jonathan LuCroy’s wife a gift basket on our way out of town.
Browns: The Browns take the field tonight so there is no game recap. Everyone is very excited to see a few firsts this week. First time with Josh Gordon, first time with Corey Coleman, first time with this fatass…
Oh wait, that’s Josh Gordon!? WTF man? I had heard the reports that he needed to lose weight, but figured he was maybe 5-10 pounds heavy after being injured. Josh, did you eat the whole time you were suspended? That’s at least 25 pounds that needs to come off. That gut might be second to only our boy Jamie Meder. I was tuning in to see our receiver crops healthy for the first time, but now I’m tuning in to see if obese men can play wideout in the NFL. If so, I’m dusting off the cleats.
The 6th overall pick in the 2013 draft, Barkevious “Ki-Ki” Mingo, was traded yesterday for the Patriots 5th rounder next year. Mingo wildly underproduced for the Browns with just 7 sacks in three years. What are the chances he is a pro bowler in New England 100%? I think it’s 100% What are the chances the Patriots 5th rounder next year makes the team, 60%? Glad to see the Browns intelligence on full display. Not saying Mingo is/was good in Cleveland, just think it’s odd that the best football mind on the planet thinks he can (and he will) do something with our talent. First Jabaal Sheard, now Mingo, Gilbert is next. Also quick shout out to our first round draft picks from 2011-2014. Phil Taylor, unemployed. Trent Richardson, unemployed. Brandon Weeden, Houston backup. Barkevious Mingo, New England Pro-Bowler. John Manziel, unemployed/future CFL quarterback.
Headline’s of the Week: Week 2, let’s get it.
“Former QB Marinovich arrested naked with drugs” – ESPN.com… I wish Johnny would invite me to his parties…
“Mike Mularkey has cabinets full of notes dating way back to his playing days” – ESPN.com… No grandma, I didn’t get the job. I just hate him,I hate him, I hate him!
“Jim Caldwell would make Usain Bolt a receiver if he tried out for NFL” – Mike Rothstein, ESPN.com… Thanks for asking the tough ones Mike. I might’ve stuck Bolt at tackle, but now I know fast black guys who are 6-5 play receiver.
“Prosecutors can search Hernandez’s cell phone” – Associated Press… Release the nudes!
“Who are the best caddies in golf?” -Michael Collins, ESPN…
“Tony Romo leaves game with injury” – Yahoo Sports… The sky is blue, I went to a bar last night and couldn’t stop sweating, Romo is injured, some things in this world will just never change.
“Top 5 Fights in California this year (so far)” – LA Times, Boxing Column… 1 through 5: Crips vs Bloods, tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme
“Guess the MLB player from his Little League picture” – Gemma Kaneko, MLB.com… Seriously, someone got paid to write that? Meanwhile I’m sitting her in my underwear praying I get more than 20 people to read my site.
By the Numbers: The Browns went 0-0 this week, they play tonight, the Indians went 2-3, and I lost 1.5 pounds, how bout that?
Enjoy the weekend everyone, thanks for another great week of Folbies! Go Browns! Go Tribe! Keep reading, share with your friends, and we’ll see you next week!